Poem of a flesheating anxiety

 

I have such an extreme fear of saying no. And speak up when something is bothering me. I’ve never had a problem discussing political issues, and protesting against the majority when there is something I believe in, but when the time comes to simply speak my mind about either my feelings or my thoughts about certain emotional issues I simply shut down.

I bury my feelings deep down, and let them dwell as cancer in the back of my mind. Feelings of being eaten away by my own anxiety sometimes become so overwhelming I don’t know what to do. Thoughts like “Did I say something wrong?” “Am I the scratch inside of their mouth they can’t seem to stop licking, and that never ever goes away?”

 

Words

Short

Un-Rhythmical

Unethical

Worthless

Piece

Of

“Art”

Ugly

On the

Paper

Beautiful

In

Mind

A psychotic

Imagine yourself going for a walk. In your pocket lays four fifty dollar bills. Your heading for the mall, exited for what you are going to buy. Then you walk pass a homeless man. His cup filled with nothing but lousy change. He looks up at you, smiling. He is not begging for your money, he is simply smiling. What do you do? Do you smile? Do you sit down with him right there on the sidewalk and chat a little? Or do you smile, sit down, and give him one of your fifty dollar bills? In all probability you walk right pass him. And keep your course steady until you get to the wall.

Now imagine yourself standing at work or at school. Right next to you stands four girls teasing or bullying another girl. You stare at the girl’s eyes; you can see she is scared, at the brink of tears. You have seen here before, walking down the hall doing so with a bit of a limp. What do you do? Do you walk right in to the bullying asking them to stop? Or do you simply turn away?

This two things are pretty much everyday things. If you add some more horrific stuff like war, surveillance, human trafficking, drugs, rape, murder, prostitution, child pornography, terror, starvation, poverty and of course children dying from thirst. Well then you really got something. Where am I going with all of this?

Well William S. Burroughs once said  “A psychotic is a guy who’s just found out what’s going on”.  I somehow believe he was god damn right.

What defines beauty?

We can complain about today’s ideal body. We can yell at the skinny girls. And tell them that their body looks unhealthy. This off course would be unfair to all of the girls that are skinny simply because they are born that way. We could also tell all the fat girls that they are unhealthy and that they need to drop some serious weight to go forward as a good example. This off course would be wrong, because they might be just as healthy as any other person you seen on the street. We could also tell the muscular girls that they look like men, and that women are not supposed to look that way. This would be wrong simply because they might define beauty and a different way than you do.

So what is beauty? What defines beauty? Wikipedia told me this: Beauty is a characteristic of a person, animal, place, object, or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure or satisfaction. Beauty is studied as part of aesthetics, sociology, social psychology, and culture. An “ideal beauty” is an entity which is admired, or possesses features widely attributed to beauty in a particular culture, for perfection.

When we read this we can understand that there is no real definition of the word beauty. Because what gives people satisfaction is so individual there is no real answer to any of it. It seems that the saying that goes like this “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” really makes a lot of sense. So the next time we see someone we believe to be ugly, we should remind our self that there is no true definition of beauty, therefor there can’t be no true definition of ugly.

With this knowledge you could also slowly but surely cure your own bad self-esteem (that is if you have such a thing). You could set your own look to be your very own definition of beauty and in that way see yourself as beautiful. Or simply tell yourself that it does not matter if you don’t look like the unreal looking people in the magazines, because beauty cannot be defined, and somewhere out there will be someone that believe you are the definition of beauty.

uty

A fake generation

As I was taking a ride in my fathers car early this morning I heard something rather interesting on the radio. A eye doctor could report about a new trend in lenses. Fellow youtubes how probably picked it up already, but for those of you how do not know of this new dolleyed trend it is girls using big black contact lenses to look like well, DOLLS. And where does that leave us? What does that make us? FAKE.

We smile to the camera, and cry in the mirror.

We bleach our hair, skip our lunch, pull out our teeth, put in new teeth. We put lenses on our eyes, and harm them at the same time. We starve. We stop paying taxes to start buying shoes. We get fake tans, fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes. We transform ourselves into something unreal, to feel, WTF good?

Pretty?

We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive

The home of conspiracy

I’m young. I’m rebellious. I’m angry. I am afraid.

What am I afraid of? I’m afraid of suppression and surveillance. We live in a time where we believe that our generation is the greatest of all time. And we believe that we are lucky. Lucky to be born in a new started millennium, lucky we are born in rich countries like Norway, Sweden, Denmark, America, and Luxembourg. But are we all that lucky to be a part of this time? I believe not. Because while we (the common man) is talking in our cellphones, watching Gossip Girl, updating our Facebook-profile. There is someone watching us. There is someone that tries to steal away our right to speak, our right to be free, and our right to BE.

It’s now that you either nod your head and whisper silently “yes, we’re being watched, someone is taking away our right to privacy”. Or you’re shaking your head like crazy trying to convince yourself I am the crazy one. And you probably tell yourself something like this “the person writing this is one of ‘em conspiracy theorists believing in aliens, the new world order and that Christ is returning”. Well, I hate to tell you, but you’re wrong. If you need proof your being watched, you’re just not watching well enough. Airports are a good example, a place where you have to pay for the crimes of a few men. I’m referring to the men behind 9/11. It was only after this that the security on airports all over the world was tightened so hard that every person traveling with an airplane was a potential terrorist in the eyes of “the ones in power”. And now we most tolerate the intolerable. Scanners that see right through our clothes, and pre-judgment by our looks. And yes we are all being judged, and I am sorry to say that if you are from the middle-east than you have a pretty good shot at being watched just a little bit more.

So let me ask you, are we so lucky to live in this time? This time of politics, greed, suppression and surveillance? Are we so lucky to live in such rich countries like Norway and America? Two of many lands hiding behind huge posters promising democracy and freedom of speech to the people. Democracy we never really are a part of, freedom we never really have.

So long